baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it

bogleech:

What was said: “it’d be better if male and female characters were sexualized at equivalent rates instead of the glaringly obvious imbalance we can observe”

What giant babies hear: “NO MORE SEXUALITY EVER. ALL CHARACTERS TO BE REPLACED WITH GREY BRICKS. WE WANT TO TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING YOU LIKE BECAUSE WE HATE YOU AND ARE MEAN FOR NO RAIESINS”

maxscoville:

Do you like bears? Do you like shirts? Do you ever wish you had a shirt with a bear on it? Good news, everybody who’s ever wanted a shirt with a bear on it — now there’s a shirt all about bears!
Help do your part to raise bear awareness today!

I have to buy this. Yup.

maxscoville:

Do you like bears? Do you like shirts? Do you ever wish you had a shirt with a bear on it? Good news, everybody who’s ever wanted a shirt with a bear on it — now there’s a shirt all about bears!

Help do your part to raise bear awareness today!

I have to buy this. Yup.

Anonymous asked:

Max, how come so many Oscar-type movies come out around the fall? Is it like with video games?

maxscoville:

Not really. Games come out in the fall because people buy the most shit they don’t need in the two months leading up to Christmas. It’s pretty much a rule that more games are released in the first two weeks of November than any other time, because Black Friday (day after Thanksgiving) is the busiest shopping day of the year. 

Oscar-bait movies, on the other hand, usually make the rounds at film festivals, building up critical buzz, and then see a wide release as close to the Academy Awards as possible. As far as I can tell, this serves a few purposes. First, people (judges, whoever) are typically more excited about moves that they’ve seen recently than ones they saw seven months prior. Second, there’s less competition from big huge releases.

Big dumbass blockbusters and goofball comedies usually come out in the summer because it’s hot and people wanna sit in an air-conditioned movie theatre and watch something mindless, plus, kids aren’t in school, so you usually see more youth-targeted stuff out then. Big dumbass family-friendly movies often hit around Thanksgiving and Christmas, because everyone is home for the holidays and going to see shit like Meet The Fokkers or The Polar Express is two hours that dad doesn’t have to think about college-aged daughter’s nose ring or interracial boyfriend, and high school son doesn’t have to answer questions about what he wants to be when he grows up from annoying-ass relatives visiting from out of town. There’s some overlap, like with Pixar movies and shit like Lord Of The Rings, xt

On top of that — I’m just speculating here — I imagine it’s probably easier marketing-wise to extend a movie’s run in theaters than it is to widely re-release it. Basically, leave the posters up and keep the trailers in rotation on TV, and add some new voiceover saying “NOMINATED FOR SEVEN ACADEMY AWARDS INCLUDING BEST PICTURE.” So, if some arthouse shit drops in October and only pops up in a few of the foofier theatres frequented by childless yuppies with NPR tote bags, and it gets nominated for an Oscar in January, it’ll start popping up in big dumbass multiplexes in February and probably stick around for a little while after the Oscars because everyone who didn’t see it wants to feel fancy and in-touch with classy cinema or whatever.

Anonymous asked:

Hey Max, i need help. Once college started, I've kinda lost contact with a close friend. I asked how she was doing and she told me she had a pretty shitty year. She then told me she's been raped a couple months ago. I'm fuckin angry, I wanna break that assholes jaw. I asked who he was, but she hasn't responded. What should I do? Why did she tell me she was raped? Is it a sign she trusts me (if so I'm honored she trusts me with such info) or is this a way of asking for help?

maxscoville:

I’m major proponent of all rapists getting on the Drink-Through-a-Straw diet, so I can definitely see where you’re coming from with that jawbreaker mindset, but it’s possible that she was looking for consolation, rather than resolution. On the other hand, she might be feeling ashamed and wanting to bury the whole thing entirely, and she’s worried that you running off to break this asshole’s jaw would just exacerbate the situation. In either case, who this dude is shouldn’t be your primary concern when your friend’s confiding in you.

I don’t know you, and I don’t know your friend, and I don’t know the situation, and there’s really no Swiss Army Knife piece of advice I can give you. Honestly, I might be giving you the wrong advice entirely, so take this with a grain of salt. In terms of empathy and human interaction, this is inferno-level difficulty. I think a lot of guys, on some very primal level, have this urge to “fix” things. When that thing is a screen door or someone’s sunglasses, it’s awesome, but that mentality can often make situations worse when applied to more abstract, nuanced, and otherwise complex human problems. 

I think the best thing you can do is shoot her a message and say that you’re sorry for getting angry, you just care a lot about her, and that the idea of someone hurting her set you off. Tell her you’re grateful she confided in you, and that if she needs your help or support, including swift, brutal street justice, you’re there. BUT if she doesn’t wanna talk about it ever again, tell her that’s the last you’ll say to her on the matter. Making a bunch of loud noises or pressuring her to tell you more is probably the last thing she wants.

Obviously obviously  obviously she should go to the cops, and if she hasn’t done so, I imagine she’s aware of that, but I don’t think it’s your place to tell her to go do that right now. That’s that same Hank Hill linear problem-solving approach. Time is totally of the essence when reporting sexual assault charges, but if she clammed up when you went all Clarence Worley the first time, I think bringing that up will just come across as tactless nagging.

Anyway, this is heavy shit. Here’s a puppy with some sunflowers.